Having Faith

My blog today will probably garner up some pretty strong opinions, so feel free to give me all your feedback ... no offense will be taken.
While I was waiting for T.J. (my son) at the eye doctors recently, I picked up a very out-of-date Prevention magazine as one of the stories on the cover caught my eye ... it was about how 3 overweight women lost all their weight by turning to faith. Each one changed their life by opening their hearts and souls back up to God. It was actually a great read, and one that struck a chord for me ... here's why ...
I have really been feeling like something has been missing in my life lately ... big time. I'm in a very happy marriage (most of the time hee hee), I have 2 beautiful children whom I adore, a lovely home, pets I love, an amazing extended family on both mine and my husband's side. Tons of love, friends, joy, etc. etc. But it just feels like I still have a hole in my life.
I grew up in a religious family, my parents dragged me to church just about every Sunday, and at the time I hated it, but now I have amazing, fond memories of those years of Sunday School, Youth Group, choir, and friends I met there. I have always been a "believer" ... I have always prayed, always feeling that there IS someone listening and answering them. I grew away from the church in my later teens and even though my hunky hubby and I were married in that church I grew up attending, we have hardly been back inside it since. When we moved away, I had our children baptized in a church in the new town we moved to, and I also became a member of this church. We began to attend regularly but weird things started happening in this church over a minister retiring and a new one replacing him that no one liked. Long story short, things were happening that I just had a really hard time dealing emotionally with ... I found myself questionning "is this how God would want a place of worship to be?"
So I left the church. I have attended a few services at another local church, but do not attend regularly. I have always kept my faith, and brought my children up with the understanding of it, but have allowed them to make their own choices in their faith as they've gotten older.
Lately, I have felt that maybe this is what is needed to fill that hole in my life ... this is what's missing. I seem to be getting little signs or messages quite often ... I see bible passages that will really hit home ... or I come across an article like the one in that outdated Prevention magazine (it was from 2007!) I have discussed it with my hubby, and even though he has no interest in attending church with me, he fully supports my interest and thinks it's a great idea, if that's what I want to do.
So I have decided that I will begin another journey ... alongside my weight loss journey, I am on a journey of faith so to speak. I have some very close friends that I know will help me, who are very knowledgeable about the Bible and can no doubt steer me toward the passages that will boost my faith and help me on my journey. Now don't get all worried about me, I'm not about to become a "bible-thumper", I won't show up at your front door insisting that you join me on this journey. This is for me and me only. I believe that everyone has the right to their own faith and their own opinion of religion (or not), and I certainly won't try to force mine on you. Believe what you want to believe ... I'm just having some faith in something I think can help me.

Thanks for reading!
Janet xo

Factful Friday ...

Ok, I'm suffering from bad-blogger syndrome, I missed Factful Friday, today is Sunday ... hey, I'm only 2 days late!! So here's some new facts ...

#1 I'm terrified of ladders ... well, actually terrified of FALLING OFF ladders ... and I'm married to a carpenter, so there's ladders everywhere around here.

#2 I'm desperately trying to grow my hair ... I've kept it short for several years, as of recent I've left it a little longer, and now decided to let it keep growing ... I'm only 4 weeks into it ... many more to go, and it's frustrating me already! Hairbands have become a major fashion statement for me!! Eeek!!

#3 I am a huge fan of "oldies" music ... 50's, 60's and 70's music ... my laptop is crammed full of it!

#4 I can drive a standard ... ok, I know that's not too exciting, but alot of women I know can't!

#5 My husband and I met on a blind date to the maternity ward of a Toronto Hospital (NO, I WASN'T PREGNANT) ... our blind date is a story for another blog, another day! I promise!

I haven't been keeping my readers up-to-date on my weight-loss progress ... reason being, there's not too much new to report. As one of my blogs recently reported I'm stuck in a rut, but slowly working my way out of it. I have realized that I need to be accountable to someone other than myself. Of course my hunky hubby said "you can be accountable to me!" then we go out to eat. Doesn't work for me, honey!! So I'm seriously considering either joining a local weight-loss group or forming one of my own. So this week I will decide on that. I'll keep y'all posted!!

Thanks for reading!
Janet xo

Factful Fridays ...

Fridays always seem to be the most hectic day of the week in my house. Everything that hasn't been completed during the week is piled up waiting to be placed in the "done" pile. By the end of the week I'm extremely tired, brain-dead, and out of mind-blowing ideas for my blog. So I've decided to make Fridays "factful" (I know for a fact that's a word, I googled it to be sure LOL). I have a dear friend whom I got this idea from ... okay, I kinda "stole" this idea from (thanks Debbie!) Check out her blog! potluckdesigns.blogspot.com (she is an amazingly talented lady!)

So what Fridays will be is a blog in which I will share 5 things about myself ... "facts" that some of you may or may not know. Please feel free to share facts about yourself! I love hearing from my readers!

This week's five facts:

#1 I am terrified of snakes ... absolutely terrified
#2 I am a pianist, so to speak ... I have my Grade 8 RCM certification and am a registered piano teacher
#3 I am an insane animal lover ... completely insane ... my pets are my fur children
#4 My nickname is Tumblenut ... my father gave me this when I was a little girl
#5 I always wanted to be a hairstylist ... I love doing hair

Thanks for reading!
Janet xo

Getting past "the same 'ol, same 'ol ...

Since beginning my most recent weight-loss journey (of which this blog often refers to) I have just felt like I'm right back into the same old song and dance (geez, that line really ages me, doesn't it?!). I felt the joy and excitement of beginning another journey, that feeling like "this is it!! This time I'll do it!!" But unfortunately I've fallen back into the same rut, after losing some weight, life has gotten in the way, and I seem to have lost my steam ... my get-go ... my motivation ... my willpower. I have been having very difficult "bouts" of fibromyalgia over the last few weeks, and it's dragging me down ... but I swear, it WILL NOT keep me there. The weather is beautiful, I've been out walking, and my Wii Balance Board FINALLY came Monday! I'm so excited!

So knowing that feeling was back of being "stuck in a rut" again, I decided to go about doing some research. Not just about dieting. But about Fibromyalgia. Well, I hit the motherload. I found some amazing information about both, that ties in so closely, that I feel it's already beginning to work. I've literally had my 'AHA' moment.
For the last 15 years or so I've been eating "low fat". But I'm still fat. I'm not burning off the fat, I'm keeping it because the "low fat" products tend to contain more carbs, sugars, junk, whatever. I've been eating for years what I thought was "good" carbs ... low fat, high fibre. So I'm fat from eating low fat ... go figure. But what blew me away even more is what I learned this week from a webinar ... that fibromyalgia sufferers should avoid wheat. Basically, it's recommended that we eat a gluten-free diet. Wow ... didn't see that coming. And no milk. Of course I'm addicted to skim milk (low fat, yet again). Yogurt and cheese are to be eaten in moderation if tolerated. And soy ... didn't realize how much food contains some form of soy. It just blows your mind! And ... drum roll please ... the WORST food for dieters that keeps them fat, and the WORST food for fibromyalgia sufferers: artificial sweeteners. Aspartame. Diet pops. Poison city. Worst thing ever invented on the planet. Someone out there is getting richer by the second by making people incredibly sick. Our livers can't process the stuff, it's working so hard to rid our bodies of all the toxins from this crap that it can't work to burn fat. So all us diet pop drinkers continue to get fatter. And all those toxins make fibromyalgia symptoms worse ten-fold. And I can prove that ... the days I drink diet pop, my trigger points, especially in my arms, hurt like hell. And my hands are useless. Now I know why.
So I've been working diligently over the last few days ridding our house of all those sins ... of course it's going to be a gradual process, can't go cold turkey on this or my body will go into shock mode. And yes, I have discovered that eating a gluten-free diet will take some work, but I'm willing to put in the effort to feel better. Two weekends ago I had the worst crash and burn I've ever had, and I don't EVER want to feel like that again. And now I've had my AHA moment, I'm determined I'm getting past that "same 'ol, same 'ol.
Bye bye, rut ...

Thanks for reading,
Janet xo

Being Accountable

That's what it's all about. Being accountable for your actions, in no matter what you do. And I have come to the point of being accountable for my lack of willpower and bad girl days. No one stands before me with a knife at my throat forcing me to eat the way I do. I make that choice myself. Terry (my hunky hubby) doesn't cook all day and present me with gourmet food every night and baked goods to put Pillsbury to shame. I do all that myself. I can blame whatever I want ... stress, family get-togethers, holidays ... whatever is going on in my life ... but ULTIMATELY it's me that eats the bad way when I'm dealing with any of those situations. I've always joked with my family that we eat to celebrate EVERYTHING ... "oh, it's a full moon, let's have a feast!!" Everything in my family revolves around food ... someone gets married FOOD ... someone dies FOOD ... baby shower FOOD ... birthday FOOD ... Christmas TONS OF FOOD. I suspect just about everyone else's family on the planet is the same way. Why, as humans do all our celebrations revolve around food? Because food makes us happy. Food makes us feel comfortable. Hence "comfort food". And is most of that "comfort food" healthy for us?? Heck, no!!
So next time I'm at that birthday celebration (or actually Easter celebration, which is coming in 3 weeks), I need to remember that I have to be accountable for everything that I'm putting in my mouth. Yes, the table is laden with tasty treats, but saying "ah, what the heck" way, way too many times has gotten me to the point that I'm at in my life now ... struggling to lose all that weight that me, and only me, can be accountable for.

Thanks for reading!
Janet xo

Just Hand Me a Platter Full ... of Willpower, Please!

Willpower ... that which I seem to lack a great deal of. Or basically any at all. Yup. I'm a huge failure in the weight loss department because of my lack of WILLPOWER. It's not that I don't want to be thin ... I wake up thinking about it everyday ... I just lack the willpower to get there. I can count points, fat grams, calories, carbs, grams of fibre, etc. etc. in my sleep. Oh, I have days that I'm a VERY GOOD girl, but days that I'm VERY BAD girl. And the bad girl days seem to outweigh the good girl days. Hence, the weight I have reached in my middle age.

Wikipedia (yup, been there AGAIN, I'm the Wikipedia QUEEN) says "willpower" may refer to "Self-Control, the ability of a person to exert his/her will over the inhibitions of their body or self". Man, I have inhibitions coming out the wazoo. My will just can't exert anymore! My body and self have reached monumental proportions. *sigh*

However, now the weather has turned absolutely beautiful and the snow is almost melted, I've been back out walking every day. I have found some amazing new information that I will share in tomorrow's blog, that I'm so excited about!! It ties in with fibromyalgia and diet, and it sounds so easy that I might just have the will to power through this weight loss journey after all!

Thanks for reading,
Janet xo

Monday Mayhem and KD

Ahh, Mondays ... I spring out of bed trying to be so positive, knowing that Mondays have a stigma attached to them, and I am always determined to not let that bother me. But Mondays always turn into bizarre days. The phone rings non-stop. Weird things happen. My work seems piled up, more than normal. By 3:00 when I have to begin the supper thought process my work never seems to be done ... at least to my satisfaction. Monday afternoons always seem to fly by. Supper usually turns into hot dogs and Kraft Dinner with veggies. Luckily, that's one of my hubby's favorite meals. He's so easy to please!! Such a sweetie!! And yes, I know KD is one of the worst foods on the planet ... especially when trying to lose weight. But at least I use Becel and skim milk to mix it, so it improves the "healthiness" of it, ever so slightly. Just the white pasta part is nasty. Ohh, so nasty. Carb overload.

So it turns out that blogging just doesn't seem to fit very well into my "mayhemic" (is that a real word? doubt it) lifestyle. I love writing. I always have. I used to write poetry when I was younger, before I had my children. I would even cross-stitch this poetry and give it away as gifts. How creative is that??!! (gagging permitted) My hubby always asks me to write his business emails for him, partly because he can't type, but because I always seem to be able to come up with "just the right wording" for the point he wants to get across to a client. And he can't spell to save his life (sorry sweetie, I adore you, but you have to admit your spelling is atrocious!)
But life has thrown me a little curveball lately, and time has been stolen away from me, from the "creative" side of me. Stress has been taking over big time over the last few weeks, and unfortunately when the stress level peaks, so do my Fibromyalgia syptoms. I had a crash and burn this last weekend. Couldn't move by Saturday night. I had thrown a baby shower for my beautiful niece who is expecting in April, and with everything else going on, I hit burnout by Friday night. Saturday was a complete right-off. Sunday, I felt a little more human, but kept dozing off when I stood still or sat down. I won't bore you with all the other details of what's been going on here in Hodderland, and it's nothing serious, just a never-ending list of "to-do's" and "who needs Janet today". I sure hope that doesn't make me sound selfish ... but I know everyone has experienced that "overwhelmed" feeling, and I'm there. Right now. Mayhemsville. (another word I doubt is in the English language, but it's Monday, and I feel weird, so there ya go)
We are in the midst of a kitchen reno. My husband is a carpenter, a darn good one, and he is very particular. So I knew when this reno started that the end result would be a dream kitchen to die for. Well, the reno started in November, and is still on-going. We have reached the point of being ready for paint, just about ... yesterday, we stripped wallpaper. Ugly, 1996 floral design wallpaper. Boy, I was glad to see that go. Now to narrow down the colour choices. I love greens. Especially olive. And green is the colour of March. And spring. I love spring!
So to add to the mayhem, my kitchen is spread out ... all over the house. My brain is in disarray, and so is my house. But I know the end result will all be worth it. And experiencing Monday mayhem in my beautiful new kitchen will make it so much easier to face!! Not to mention cooking that easy meal of weinies, KD and veggies in my gorgeous new kitchen will make it seem like gourmet culinary cuisine!
Pictures to follow soon! (of the kitchen NOT the gourmet KD meal)

Hope everyone has a great week. Yes, I managed to skip weigh-in last week ... BAD BAD GIRL. But the weather is beautiful today and I'm determined to get outside for a walk. So hopefully there will be less of me to step onto the scale tomorrow!! (just gotta avoid the KD ... and walk away from the mayhem!)

Thanks for reading!
Janet xo