Bring Out Your Broken Vinyl ...

... I'm at it again. Sounds like a broken record. I'm back at Jenny Craig. Doing well, mind you ... down 12 pounds in one month. Hunky hubby has joined as well, one week after I did, and he's down 15 pounds (it really just isn't fair, is it?!) I'm very proud of him ... his willpower far surpasses mine :)

I was struggling big time trying to do this on my own ... attending Weight Watchers, but trying to figure out meals on my own, with very little time. Quite often I would turn to less healthy, quick to prepare foods, or order pizza, or just eat out. The busier we got, the worse we ate. I kept seeing all these celebrities losing weight on Jenny Craig, and I know how busy their lifestyles are (and alot of them even have their own cooks!) so after seeing commercial after commercial, I decided to go back. Best decision I could have made. It's so convenient. And it's helping us make better choices, trying more meals on our own and supplementing with the Jenny Craig food when we are too busy to cook. Yes, we are still eating out, but we are conscious of how much and what we are eating, we still treat ourselves, but we feel that is important to keep on track, and keep this lifestyle forever. Never going back to the binging and gaining all that weight back again.

So now after one month the weight loss is slowing down a bit (which is to be expected), so I need to get moving more. I'm walking, but I need to pick up the pace, maybe get back to Curves ... now there's a plan. Need to find a gym buddy to keep me motivated to go.

Goal is to be down at least another 10 pounds before our trip east in July. I CAN do this. I WILL do this ... that sound like a broken record, too ... but I AM going to be successful this time!

So pack those broken LPs and 45s away for a rainy day ... I won't make you pull them out again :)

Oh, and for all the younger generation who have no idea what I'm talking about when I say LPs and 45s, do a fast-finger google on your iPhone or Blackberry of "what are record albums" and you will get your answer via Wikipedia ;)

Thanks for reading!
xo

Less Junk in My Truck=Less Junk in My Trunk

Well, it's a given ... the less I eat of the bad stuff, the less my gluteus maximus will show it. Among other parts of my body which I won't discuss. I've been taking more time grocery shopping, going prepared with a list and sticking to it (well, mostly:)) and cooking, baking and eating out alot less. I find grocery shopping a challenge when you're trying to change your eating lifestyle. Yes, there's tons of good food out there, lots of fibre, fruits and veggies, and it seems food manufacturers are trying to do the right thing by removing salt, sugar, fat, adding more fibre to alot of their foods. They darn well know they are a big part of the reason that our population is grossly overweight. But there's still all that junk out there ... I was walking through a local grocery store recently, and after passing through the meat & dairy section, came upon their Easter display. It was monumental ... of course I had to look (ok, I'll admit it, Easter Cream Eggs and Caramilk Eggs are one of my biggest weaknesses!) It was mind-blowing. Row upon row of treats ... anything you can think of redesigned with Easter and Spring in mind ... hey, did you know that Vachon's Ah Caramel cakes now come with Easter Cream Egg filling? OMG ... I can proudly say I left them in the store, didn't even pick them up to look. I can just imagine the nutritional label on those ... if they were even brave enough to put one on it!! Carbs and fat grams OFF THE CHART!
Hunky hubby and I make the occasional trip to Costco. Now there's a store for a food lover. Sample tables around every corner, bulk baked goods, snack foods in huge bags, cereal by the truck full. I have to avoid their bakery section, it completely overwhelms me (who needs 2 dozen chocolate covered croissants or 36 huge assorted cookies? I'd eat them all if I took them home :)) So I try to focus on healthier selections (grabbing 5 pounds of grapes instead of 5 pounds of chocolate covered almonds *sigh*) Thankfully we don't live really close to Costco, or I'd be in big trouble ... or my booty would :)
Yup, I'm obsessed ... with food. Am I an emotional eater? Yup, sometimes. I eat when I'm bored with the very busy daily routine. I eat when I'm working, which is the worst, because I forget what I've shoved in my mouth, and by the end of the day I know I've doubled my WW point allowance without even knowing it. I eat while hubby and I are snuggling in front of the t.v. But I eat because I love food. Yup. I'm a foodaholic. What's not to love?
Hubby and I had a wonderful dinner out Friday evening with friends at a local bistro, our first time there. It was wonderful. Hubby had a steak that he said was one of the best cuts of meat he'd ever had. I of course had a penne pasta dish with chicken, cream sauce and veggies (is there anything better than pasta? I think not ... well, maybe Easter Cream Eggs ... ANYWAY) We splurged and had dessert ... I just had to try their chocolate mousse cake (chocolate ... yup, here I go again ... that can cure any desperate situation, can't it?) Well, it was all wonderful. Melt in your mouth yummy. I was designated driver so I didn't try any wine, but I'm sure it would have been wonderful, too. Great night out, great company, great food ... ok, who am I kidding ... FABULOUS food!! It made me want to cry (I seriously thought hubby was going to shed a tear when he took that first bite of steak ... ever seen a grown man cry over beef? I'm sure my man could do that ...)
Geez ... is there really any hope for me? I do love healthy food, too, and I'm trying to steer away from the bad stuff, bringing home more of the good stuff, trying new recipes, substitutions, healthier snacking. Being more conscious of what I pick up at the grocery store and load into the truck.
Leaving the junk behind ... so there's less junk on my behind :)

Thanks for reading!
XO

Accomplishment

I came across a great quote this morning "We must do the things we think we cannot do" Eleanor Roosevelt. This quote was in a story about a very successful and much loved U.S. university football coach that has accomplished many amazing things in life even though he was born with no hands. NO HANDS! Just amazing. He has played college football, played the trombone, he was a high school teacher and now coaches football. Makes you feel alot less sorry for yourself, doesn't it?!
So back to the quote. How true. Isn't it human nature to sometimes say, "oh I can't do that, I'm not that talented" or "I don't have the patience" or "I don't have the time". Those 3 lines are famous in my vocabulary, mostly I'm afraid of trying for fear of failing and looking like a fool. But when I look back through everything I've done over the last 20+ years, I've really accomplished many things that I never thought I could ... I got my Grade 8 RCM certification which involved alot of study and discipline, opened up my own teaching studio in my home and became a successful, loved teacher to many students. Hunky hubby and I have been running our own very successful carpentry business for the last 5+ years, and I handle all his bookkeeping, other than his yearly corporate taxes (know NOTHING about that, safer for an accountant to deal with that stuff when it involves the government!) I have my own very successful Avon business, with many devoted clients whom I'm proud to say have become my friends. I have taught myself how to use a computer (with only a one hour lesson 12 years ago to get me started on the basics). I have raised 2 beautiful children who are very successful in what they are pursuing in life and careers. I have learned special care for animals with cancer (holistic care) after having nursed my old yellow lab though cancer for 4 years (she passed away 3 years ago this past Thursday, she lived to be almost 12, diagnosed at age 8) and raised a beautiful little yellow lab puppy from 8 weeks to her current age of almost 3~a very HYPER Lab puppy I might add!! She is a daily joy to me, and I have to admit a challenge sometimes!! And the accomplishment I feel most proud of: being married for 22 1/2 years ... to the same man! And I still adore him, I love him more every day :)
So, why do I struggle so much with weight loss? Discipline? Willpower? I wish I had the answer. I love good food. I love to go out with friends or family and have a couple of drinks, a nice meal, dessert, and some good laughs. I love to cook big dinners ~ I'm really good at turkey dinners with homemade stuffing, gravy, and all the fixings!
I guess each time I start a new diet I'm afraid of failure. Or it's almost like I expect failure. I've dieted so many times for so many years, only to gain back what I've lost. I can count calories, fat grams and fibre like a pro. I can decipher any nutrition label you give me. I know how I need to eat, I just have so much trouble sticking to it. It's a mind set. Been doing it for so many years it's engrained in my brain!
So I really, really need to overcome this fear of failing again. Working at changing my lifestyle, keep trying new recipes and doing what I love - cooking, but cooking healthier. When I look at some recipes I think "oh I won't try that, too many ingredients I don't have, too complicated" but once I put my mind to it, I know I can do it. And it will taste just as great as the "bad" foods I cook. And it will become easier, to the point where I won't even have to dwell on it everyday. No more waking up everyday thinking about losing weight. I have to change my mindset. I need to think about all the delicious, healthy foods I will cook ... new recipes I will try and succeed at! Become obsessed with healthy cooking and eating, and the rest will fall into place.
I WILL succeed once and for all at this weight loss thing!!!!! I WILL add this accomplishment to my list this year!! Do the one thing I think I cannot do ...

Healthy recipes most welcome in my blog comments!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for reading,
XO

Keeping It Regular

I've missed my blogging. It's been over a year since I began this "Beginning the Battle ... YET AGAIN" blog, and now a new year is over 2 months in, and I'm fighting the battle again (well, in reality, still!). Almost 2 months since my last blog, but alot has happened, in a positive way; positive changes are in the making!
Hunky hubby and I enjoyed a one-week stay in Cayo Santa Maria Cuba a few weeks ago. We had a blast, we were joined on the trip by my cousin and her husband who were way, way too much fun! It was a much needed "R&R" trip for rest and reflection. We've both hit burnout. Time to step back and take a good long look at the business, and make some changes for the better. Re-focus our talents instead of "dabbling" in everything and getting overwhelmed with work ... no more late, late nights and early mornings, set a schedule and stick to it ... keep it regular :)
We've also started following the G.I. eating plan ... Glycemic Index. A couple of years ago I asked my doctor what he suggested for "weight loss" and he right away suggested this. Of course I tried other diets since, only to lose weight, go off the diet and gain it all back again. I KNOW I need a lifestyle change, that's what it's all about. And the more research I do of all the diets out there, of all the diets I've tried, the Glycemic Index seems to be the basis of so many of them. Healthy carbs, less sugar, more fibre ... it's not rocket science. We've always eaten lots of fibre, but yes, we are sugar junkies. Big time. So we're slowly weaning ourselves off the sugar high, it will take time, but I'm taking time to find new recipes, cooking more, adding lots more fibre to our diet, eating 3 meals regularly, snacking regularly to keep from being hungry ... and yup, you guessed it, all this regular good "fibrous" eating leads us where? Regularity! ;)
So my promise to myself and my followers is that I will faithfully get back to my blogging ... it does help the inspiration, I love the feedback, it gives me the strength and determination to keep going ... keep writing ... REGULARLY!


Thanks for reading!
Blog ya again soon!

New Year, New Me?

Well, it's beginning again ... a new year, and a new battle. Yup, I'm beginning the battle yet again AGAIN AGAIN ... geez, why am I here again? Why can't I succeed at this weight loss thing? What the heck is wrong with me?
I feel like crap. I have no energy, I am struggling daily to just do the normal daily stuff, not to mention doing office work for our company. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia last year, and, after searching and searching online the last few days, thinking I must be absolutely going nuts, I realize the way I feel is normal ... well, not exactly normal, but normal for a fibromyalgia sufferer. I can hardly lift my arms. My hands aren't working right ... when I try to type on my laptop I'm reversing letters in words, struggling to get my thoughts out. My head is completely foggy ... I can't plan my day. I wander doing little jobs but never seem to finish them. I have a houseful of unfinished work. I can't seem to organize stuff, and I don't have the energy to. I feel the blahs, bigtime. I feel guilty for feeling like this. When I sit for a long period of time (when working or if hunky hubby takes me to the movies!) my legs drive me nuts. I'm constantly moving them to make them feel better. It's not intense pain, more like discomfort ... like I have to move them or I'm going to scream. It's RLG ... restless leg syndrome. Headaches ... been driving me nuts. Finally gave in and had acupuncture last night to see if that would help. No headache today ... milestone!! I haven't been to the gym or done any wii-fitting in a couple of months. I forced myself to walk this morning, through 4 inches of snow ... the cold air felt great, but after 2 big laps of my normal walk route around our acre yard, I couldn't do anymore ... I felt completely fatigued. I just want to lay down and sleep. Nothing else.
Am I experiencing symptoms of depression? Internet research says definitely. Is depression a symptom of fibromyalgia? You betcha. They go hand in hand. Restless leg syndrome? Yup, it's a symptom, too. Headaches? Yup. Extreme fatigue? Yup.
So what am I good at? Right now it's eating. My weight is back up to where it was a year ago. Eating makes me feel better somehow. So you guessed it, that's definitely not helping my weight ... and weight doesn't help fibromyalgia sufferers, either. Can't exercise, too sore and tired. So that doesn't help either. It's a vicious cycle. Eating+no exercise=weight gain.
So ... doctor's appointment is booked for January 31st ... do I want to be medicated? No way ... but I'm seriously considering it. I'm so tired of being tired ... tired of it all. I want my life back. I used to have tons of energy, doing everything I wanted to do ... it was always me who volunteered to do things or help someone out "ask Janet, she always helps!!" and I loved that ... now I don't even want to do that. Don't want to cook, clean, work, exercise, enjoy the sun and snow, help friends ... I just want to sleep. Uugh. What an awful feeling ...
I'm not really sure hubby understands completely ... he's sympathetic to my fatigue and pain, but thinks I should bounce right back in the morning and be all sunshine and smiles. I try to put on a front for him, but it's getting old. I just don't have it in me anymore. He must see it though, looking around the house ... things just aren't how they should be or where they should be. I feel awful about it. But I think it's time I get help, whether it's from a bottle or something else. I am blessed with a very strong marriage, 22 1/2 years, so I'm thankful for that. That's one thing that does give me some strength every day to fight back. I adore my husband.
So a new year WILL bring a new me ... or bring the old me BACK ... I am going to try everything it takes to get out from under this cloud. It sucks. Am I feeling sorry for myself? No, I think I've just finally realized living like this isn't normal, and there is help out there for fibromyalgia suffers, you just have to ask for it. You have to look after yourself, because no one else will.
And I'm never going to win this weight battle until I win the fibromyalgia battle ... I know now they go hand in hand.

Thanks for reading!
J

Inspired

I'm feeling inspired today ... it's been almost 2 months since I blogged, but a close family member has stirred the creative side of me to write again. Her strength is contagious ... she has come a long, long way over the last year and is my inspiration!

I haven't felt like blogging for awhile ... last entry was just after Light The Night Ottawa in October and I was planning on "crutching it" for 2 weeks to get rid of a nagging heel spur ... well that never happened. No time. Too much happening to be on crutches ... now it's December 19th, 6 days 'til Christmas ... it's true, the older you get, the faster time goes by. Being busy sure helps, too.
But the real reason for not feeling like blogging is I'm struggling ... big time. No weight loss in several months. Too much eating out due to being so busy, too busy to plan meals and cook. Working 7 days a week, all day, desperately trying to stay ahead and stay awake! Hubby's the same ... burning the candle at both ends. He doesn't want to cook either ... too tired to think about what we're eating ... let's just eat out ... been saying that way, way too much lately. No time on weekends to make things and throw them in the freezer for weeknight dinners ... what's the solution?!
On the plus side, I've met so many amazing new people over the last few months, and actually spent time with dear friends while working that has kept me uplifted. And a new year is 2 weeks away ... which I know will get me re-motivated and inspired to start over and make that promise to myself to get healthy. A New Year, a New Me ... at least I'll put forth a good effort for that, one day at a time.
I've also been focusing on being thankful ... TRULY thankful for what I have. Praying daily ... thanking, asking for guidance. Looking around me and noticing things ... things I've taken for granted in my busy life. Just this past week I was letting my dog out one evening for her last "business trip" of the evening before going to bed ... as I stood out in our front yard, I looked up to the sky and saw a shooting star ... it kind of startled me, as it was very bright and looked very close. But what a sight. Then it came to me what I had just seen. A miracle ... beauty in it's most natural state ... it happened so quickly, it must have been 2 seconds and it was gone ... but I got to see it ... I was in the right place at the right time ... inspiring!

So ... whatever and however you're celebrating this Holiday Season, I wish you joy, happiness and love ... and an inspirational New Year!!

Thanks for reading!

J

Okay ... well ...

I promised a blog with pics 2 weeks after my vacay in August ... well, we returned August 30th ... it is now October 22nd ... how about 2 months?! Geez, where has the time gone ... it just blows my mind ...
So the vacay was wonderful, the weather was hot hot hot and the beach was fabulous. We did way way too much shopping, but I did get lots of Christmas presents bought. I just have one big problem ... I'm still in vacay mode. I'm way off my program ... we've been so busy since we got back that we've been eating out too much, snacking too much, not eating as healthy as we should ... and the weight isn't coming off anymore. I'm holding my own, but not losing. I have always found fall to be one of the most difficult times of the year to lose weight ... my birthday, our wedding anniversary, then Christmas. And food centres around all of them. This year I'm struggling with worsening Fibromyalgia symptoms, which drains all of my energy, then I just don't seem to be able to keep motivated to be good. It's been a real struggle the last 2 months. But I've gotten over an arm injury (went back to the gym and worked a little too hard too fast, gave myself golfer's elbow ... hurt like #*%&!) I also participated in Light The Night Ottawa October 16th, which was AMAZING ... great, uplifting experience. 5km walk along the Rideau Canal in the dark with lit balloons ... over 1000 people walking for a cure for Leukemia & Lymphoma. Fabulous experience! And we stayed at my beautiful niece's home so I got to spend time with my adorable little 6 month-old great niece, Kaylie! Such a great weekend! But the heel spur I've been getting acupuncture treatment for since July isn't going away, so final decision of my chiropractor this week is to go on crutches for 2 weeks to let it heal. Heal the heel ... love the homonym!!
So no gym or Wii Fit for 2 weeks ... I've gotta get the heel healed for my friends wedding November 13th or I'll be in a dress and running shoes ... geez, what a sight that conjures up!! UUGH And my annual Christmas sale is November 20th, at which I'll be on my feet all day ... so gotta get the heel healed for that, too.
It's going to be a challenging 2 weeks, but it will go fast ... and at the end I hopefully won't have any more heel pain. Oh, but the food prep on one foot, not gonna be fun ... lack of exercise for 2 weeks is gonna be hard on the scale, too ... maybe hubby and the kids will cook!! AHEM ...
Okay ... well ... I'll keep y'all posted on that!!

Thanks for reading!
Hugs!
J