Insanity ... one step closer

I would like to say before I continue my rant that I am not intending to make light of insanity, nor insult anyone who may have a family member that is suffering from this. It is a serious illness and it certainly is not a laughing matter. However, in my blog today I am making fun of insanity, or at least it's symptoms, but only to poke fun at myself and hopefully to bring a chuckle or two to my readers and lighten their day. Here it goes ...
Being a mother of 2 teenagers (well, one will be 20 in 2 months, that blows me away), I have, at times, stuggled with managing worry, but most of all struggled with trying not to lose my mind. I'm sure my daughter thinks I've already lost it (yup, that's you Britt), and those silver/grey hairs that are popping up throughout my short brunette mane have been well earned as a mother. I've always believed that when a woman gives birth, it isn't the afterbirth that comes out of her body, it's part of her brain. I know that's got to be the case with me, because after giving birth twice in 16 months alot of people thought I had lost my mind. Lack of sleep for the first few months made me feel like I had, too! But I have 2 beautiful children to brag about and spoil ... just not much of my sanity left.
Now I'm over 40, it's so much harder to lose weight, but the worst thing is trying to remember stuff. I just feel like I can't keep a clear head most days, I don't know which direction to turn and what to do first. I feel like I'm going insane most days, totally losing my mind. Lists help somewhat, as long I as remember where I put them and remember to take them with me when I leave the house. I used to have a photographic memory but I think it went out with the Instamatic camera in 1988 (ironically, that was the year I was married ... coincidence? I think not)
I mostly worry about the state of my mind when I hang out with my mother or father. They are 79 and 80, and I'm convinced their minds are clearer than mine on a good day. I took my father to the doctors this morning, and he remembered where the elevator was in the building when we went to leave ... I, on the other hand, had forgotten (and sadly we had only been there 1/2 hour). My mother always says "oh, you just have too much to remember, too much on your plate that's why you can't remember things". She may be right ... but doesn't every woman who is a wife, mother, office manager or whatever her day job is? I'm not the only woman on this planet with a too-full plate. Maybe we're just all striving for perfection and driving ourselves crazy trying to get there. I always feel like I'm falling short of that "perfect" goal ... guess that's what keeps me going every day, driving myself to near insanity.
So now I've forgotten what the main point of my blog is today ... gone from the brain, completely. Anyway, weigh-in day has come and gone again this week, I'm one pound lighter. One pound closer to my goal, and one step closer to insanity. There you go. Guess that's my point today. I'm completely driving myself insane.


Thanks for reading!
Janet xo