"You are what you eat" ... "If you bite it, write it" ... "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"
Simple truths ... truths I try to live by on a daily basis. Oh every day I have good intentions. I start writing what I'm biting, then the busy day takes over and I realize I've been grazing so much that I can't remember everything I need to write.
I think I'm afraid of being thin. I haven't been really, really thin in 20 years. I'm not back to my heaviest, but I'm no where near being thin. Pleasantly plump as one of our friends referred to me as recently. I identify myself as an "overweight" person. I've been buying a size 14 - 16 / L-XL for years. I've trained myself to walk by the smaller sized racks of clothes, right to the larger size area of the store. When I try to think of myself as a thin person, I can't. I don't feel like it would be me. But the me I am at right now isn't the real me. I'm not happy with myself. But are we ever happy with ourselves? I know very few women who are. Even the thin ones. We are always striving to be better ... to improve something about ourselves that we think isn't perfect. Aiming for that goddess status. I find myself always looking at other women, comparing myself to them, wishing I looked like them. They have longer, prettier hair. Nicer skin, nicer clothes. Prettier face. I see my husband looking at other women, and I constantly compare myself to them. I always seem to come up short.
I need to just be happy with who I am. Who cares if I'm not the skinniest girl at the party ... I have many other successes in my life to be proud of and to be thankful for.
And that's the simple truth.
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